484 Words About: Blarggs in Super Mario World
First of all, I didn’t know the lava dragons in Vanilla Dome 3 of Super Mario World were known as Blarggs. I just called them lava dragons.
Second, I never play this level without Yoshi. If I don’t have a Yoshi, I’ll return to Yoshii’s Island 2 and play the level through just so I can have Yoshi. My reason is simple, his boots make the most satisfying sound when the Blarggs try to attack me.
Third, the two “g’s” at the end of Blarggs’ name are absolutely brilliant for rhetorical and linguistic reasons. And, no, I will not explain why.
The Blarggs were some of my favorite non playable characters(npcs) in Super Mario World because they could not truly be defeated. Well, they could actually, but I was never good enough at the game to do this. That, and it is far more satisfying jumping over them anyway. While many of the enemies in Super Mario World silently launch themselves at Mario as he navigates the obstacle course that is Dinosaur Island, the Blargg makes a slow gurgling grumble that reverberates through the underground chasm as they dip up and then sink back into the lava. While riding Yoshi, this sound is accompanied by a double-click as my reptile companion’s boots bounce against the top of Blargg’s skull making a “click-clack.”
This is still one of the most satisfying sounds in any videogame.
Blarggs are memorable because they’re the most animated villain Mario will face (other than Bowser’s children). Blargg’s dwarf Mario in size, and their eyes can be seen peeking out of the lava before they strike. When they appear, they are large orange beasts that resemble superheated metal, their eyes are crossed, and they have thick, chubby molars implying that they would have to grind Mario to paste rather than chew his body to ribbons.
There are exactly 10 Blarggs to avoid in Vanilla Dome 3, all while riding a raft made out of skulls that may or may not be human. This raft will lead me up ramps, and will often take me to chasms where the lava disappears and I will have to hoof it across the cavern floor dodging enemies that, compared to Blarggs, are surreal in their normality. Once through I can resume my strange skull boat-ride and continue jumping or knocking against the heads of these monsters until the end.
Every level of Super Mario World is an obstacle course, and as a platformer it’s design is to challenge the player’s ability to keep Mario’s feet on the ground. Goomba’s, Koopa-troopas, and even Bullet-Bills are not terribly challenging because as long as I can jump on them, then I can continue playing. Mushrooms, shells, moles, and even bullets can be defeated with just the right jump.
Blarggs challenge me because I can’t touch them, and their grumbles are almost taunts that echo infinitely.
Joshua “Jammer” Smith
3.25.2024
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***UPDATE***
I’ve uploaded a video on YouTube of myself reading this essay. You can listen to me read it by following the link below: